Rest In Peace Dad

I have had a rollercoaster 29 hours.

I got a phone call to say my father had passed away yesterday afternoon, after many tears and not being able to reach Damien I then got another phone call to say that he wasn't actually dead but in a drug-induced coma.

So many conflicting emotions, anger, sadness, confusion.

My uncle rang and confirmed the drug-induced coma, induced because of the intense pain Dad was in, it was only a matter of time, he suggested I ring the hospice and they could possibly put the phone up to his ear so I could tell him of my pregnancy, the fact that I hadn't yet told him had devastated me.

I rang the hospice and my cousin held the phone up to his ear, it was so very hard, but I told him of my pregnancy, that I loved him, and said goodbye.

I got a lot of closure from that phone call. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to talk to him, even though he couldn't answer, I heard his breathing change and I *know* he heard me.

I got a phone call from my uncle and Dad passed away tonight. He was in a bit of pain near the end so I *know* that he is so much better off now, and is at peace.

I feel such peace, and relief.

Love and light Dad, may you now rest in peace.

Sooooo

Santa Photo

At least she wasnt as freaked out as she was last year :)

Yet another very late update

Trip to NZ was ok, didn't get to spend as much time with Dad as i wanted, Lauren didnt cope well with it all, the people coming & going, change etc she was a brat, I was exhausted but I did get to spend time with Dad :)

He improved so much over the time that we were there, and from speaking to him since he sounds a lot stronger which is great because it means he can enjoy the time he has left, he is a fighter so maybe he will stick around for a while to torment us ;)

We are trying to conceive #2 atm, the first three nights in NZ lauren had HEAPS of boob and I know that distrupted my cycle, so I was feeling positive until my cycle ended up with a luteal phase of only 7 days *sigh*, I am cutting Lauren back on the boob and hoping this cycle is more fruitful.

I am getting one of these *pets* 20inch iMac *drools*

Going to get it on the myer card in teh new year, maybe get it cheaper in any post xmas sales.
Cannot believe how little time there is left to xmas *panics*

Bought a few things at the oxfam store yesterday, i LOVE that store, could spend a fortune.
Got this necklace, I love her, so does Lauren :) Also got a wallet and a couple of xmas gifts.



Ok some Lauren cuteness to finish off